Dealing With Disappointment - David Eisenstein

this is a cut-and-paste of an article orginally posted at but it has so revolutionized my thinking and character that i want to have a personaly copy kept around long after it's outdated and purged from the host site. i'm hoping the author will understand that i'm not stealing anything, but rather i'm honoring him with this tremendous article.

Dealing With Disappointment - David Eisenstein. March 18, 2008
When I was eight I wanted a Hot Wheels racetrack set for my birthday. I made very sure my parents knew I wanted this by reminding them every day for months beforehand. I could hardly sleep the night before as I imagined playing with my new toy. I raced through the day, hardly pausing to breathe much less enjoy my party and my friends and relatives who gathered to celebrate. After the cake I ripped up wrapping paper as quickly as I could but a small hill of paper and a few boxes later I was done and there was no Hot Wheels set. I think I moped around the house whining and crying "Why me?" for at least a week afterwards.

When I was twenty-five I met the girl of my dreams. I was living in Los Angeles and I worked part-time as a private tutor for some children of movie biz insiders and so I got to go to some big deal parties. I met her on a magical night at a house overlooking the Pacific Ocean and after spending a few hours talking and dancing we spent some quality time together on the beach. I drove home ecstatic making wedding plans in my head. When I called her the next day I got a Mexican family who barely spoke enough English to tell me I had the wrong number. I called Mrs. TV producer and asked about the girl at her party but there were a lot of young actresses there and she couldn't help me. I hit the wall and screamed at the sky, "Why me?"

Last week I was deep in the $11 rebuy on Stars. The night before I had played the same tourney and ended up in 29th when my AK lost to an all-in call by an AQ and I felt I was due some good luck at the end of this one. With twenty-two left I had an average stack and was patiently waiting for a good hand to double up with and I found it when I got pocket queens on the button. The big stack was in the big blind so I thought I would just make a standard raise so it would look like a steal and maybe get him to push. It worked just like I wanted and he pushed with A9 off and I insta-called. I liked my odds a lot until the flop came 992 and two cards later I was out in 22nd. I took a deep breath and as I let it out whispered, "Why me?"

I typed in "gla" and exited as gracefully as I could, but inside I was eight sitting in a mound of wrapping paper and twenty-five hanging up the phone again. I wondered if I had learned anything about coping with disappointment in 45 years or if I just learned to act like I didn't care. The truth is that unless you have hardened your heart so much that you are completely unfeeling, you are always going to be upset if you don't get what you want. It's hard to fight human nature.

There is an old saying that goes, "Fight a battle you can win." So, if it is impossible not to feel the disappointment, then allow yourself to feel it. Instead work on how you react to it. Instead of lashing out at the player who sucked out on you to send you to the rail, have enough self-control to say "gla" and leave. Then, away from the table, console yourself with the truth that you played well and that over the long run those donkey calls by bad opponents will win you many chips.

The worst thing you can do is allow things you cannot control to affect things you can control. I won't lie to you and pretend that it is easy. Patience and self-control are hard things to master, but well worth the effort. Once you can take the disappointment in stride and still be on top of your game three things will happen. First, you will feel better about yourself and those good feelings will help to ease your pain. Second, you will be better able to see life and poker in the long-term, big-picture kind of outlook that both require for success. And lastly, once you achieve that success, it will be all the sweeter for you lack of bitterness about the past. As for me, I now play with my son on his Hot Wheels set, I have a beautiful wife who loves me, and I'm hoping to have my good hands hold up this summer in the WSOP main event.

March 2008 Recap

3/29/08
tried a little cash game for a change. managed to double up, then took these three beats (not saying they were "bad" beats or that i played them right):
http://www.pokerhand.org/?2351784
http://www.pokerhand.org/?2351786
http://www.pokerhand.org/?2351788
but was fortunate to get it all back and more on this hand:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?2351862

3/28/08
3/45 ITM
brought my "A" game to this my favorite tournament. made some key lay downs to make it deep. down to 3 i pick my spot perfectly against an Opp that has raised all in 9 out of the last 10 orbits as the big stack. here's the beat: http://www.pokerhand.org/?2347327. sorry blogfans, i can't play any better than this. i just won't ever win one of these things.

busted a couple of token satellites while watching the Kansas-Villanova game.

3/22/08
112/1258 ITM
was doing well with an above average stack, then this horrible beat by a total donkey http://www.pokerhand.org/?2309179. then another beat, but i have myself to blame. if you want to know how NOT to play a set against two pair / flush draw, take a look http://www.pokerhand.org/?2309185
2/18 ITM token
3/18 ITM token

3/18/2008
2/45 ITM
played well. getting KK and AA down the stretch is always nice. had some other tough decisions with medium pairs that i laid down - not sure if the forum gurus would agree with this. heads up i was out-stacked 4-1 and fought back to near even, but lost on a horrible beat with a dominating hand on the river. i never came back. of course i've still never won one of these. gg to my foe who played HU great.
3/45 ITM
this final table was tough, with all 6 having great stats. very fun chatting, and the guys came to the other table to rail me. it was a riot actually having fans root for me.

played good poker tonight. finishing ITM concurrently sure does make the game fun again. think i'll take a few nights off to finish my taxes.

3/17/2008
whiffed 0/3 tonight.

3/16/2008
Finished ITM 3/4 tries last night. Not high finishes however. Still losing as the favorite, and disappointment abounds. I am continually on the lookout for articles that relate poker to real life, and today I found this article very helpful http://www.realpokertraining.com/articles.php?blog=view&id=74 but I'm not sure if one needs to register in order to read it. Give it a try.

I'm very happy for a buddy's buddy taking down the WSOP circuit event at Caesar's Atlantic City. A short write up is here: http://www.pokernews.com/news/2008/03/wsopc-atlantic-city-day-3-sheets-eric-haber-wins.htm.

Homeys M.B., B.S., and B.D. continue to pull off nice sized wins both online and live.

3/4/08
SBOP II
i came into tonight's game nearly asleep, having put my son to bed just five minutes prior. there were some new faces, and the chatting was lively. some key hands/observations:
1. from SB i complete with J8o, and i check 88x flop with two others. i check-raise the turn and take the pot from BB. however BB then goes on a maniacal streak of raising me nearly every hand. i have not seen him before and have no idea what his range is. he bet me off of 5-6 hands, but finally VCDuke came to my rescue and busted him. when i finally got to see some hands he was playing, i realized his range and knew i was ahead most of the time.
2. i called a daozi shove with TT - there's no way i'm doing that when my head is clear. i have to know i 'm behind there, but somehow i just clicked the mouse. i have no other explanation. i turn a set to beat his QQ to occupy first place, but i played this hand poorly.
3. blinds 150/300, EP (nemesis) calls, LP calls, I shove AKs. EP big stack calls, LP folds. EP shows 66 and it holds up. i bust at 10/21.

we were delighted to have online pro "sheets" join us, and his sidekick JohnnyBax made a cameo appearance to plug http://www.pokerxfactor.com/. sheets played quite well, losing heads up with this bad beat http://www.pokerhand.org/?2214924 to my grammar school buddy njnick, who tanked for a very long time before calling. the heads up match lasted very long for online standards, and both held 2:1 chip leads at various times. VCDuke defended nobly by cashing third. there were two notable absences from the Main Line Poker Club: "squasher" and "ITT PlaysYa".
1. njnick 2. sheets. 3. vcduke
looking forward to april.

3/2/08
whiffed 0-3 starting the month off poorly. homeys continue to win online.

poor joe shambles - the guy plays down to heads up out of 20,000 entrants to face Annette_15, and is good on the turn. hey, i've taken some bad rivers, but never for a 10K prize differential.

Annette_15: raises 599999 to 999999
joeshambles: raises 2200001 to 3200000
Annette_15: raises 34913020 to 38113020 and is all-in
joeshambles: calls 18606980 and is all-in
*** FLOP *** [Th 9d Qh]
*** TURN *** [Th 9d Qh] [Ad]
*** RIVER *** [T 9 Q A ] [6 ]
*** SHOW DOWN *** joeshambles: shows [A T ] (two pair, Aces and Tens)
Annette_15: shows [6 6 ] (three of a kind, Sixes)

So I've been playing less and watching some online pros more. I haven't noticed anything spectacular - they lose with the same hands I do, they choose their spots the same as I do. I have some new ideas of when to get my chips in from these observations.

I'm resting for Tuesday night private PokerStars tourney with "friends" - that is, they are friends until they bust me. I'm also resting for WSOP circuit event Friday at Caesars.

3/1/08
I'm thinking of trying a new format - just one monthly recap including online, home game, and casino tournaments. I'll add the newer stuff at the top, in reverse-chronological order, so that people stopping by will know right away if there is something new. If this doesn't work I'll revert back to a single post for each event.

Main Line Poker Club 10 March 2008

Results:
Game #1: 1) W.E. 2) J.S. 3)
Game #2: 1) D.O. 2) R.W. 3) J.S.
Game #3: 1) J.S. 2) 3)
Game #4: 1) J.S.

Atlantic City March 7-8 2008

I was gifted an entry fee into event #3 of the WSOP Circuit Event at Caesars (action photo here) . Although I was still in the throes of coping with Brett Favre's retirement, I was well rested and full of confidence. My table was nothing short of horrible. I've never seen such bad play at this buy-in. One player, who seemed vaguely familiar from other tourneys I've played, was playing what seemed to be any two cards. A few young kids were just ghastly.

After level 1 I had built my starting 4K stack to 5K. A new arrival took a beat and was left short stacked. He limps UTG and I wake up with KK from LP. I raise 5BB to put him nearly all in. He thinks it over and calls with TJo. He flopps trip tens and fills up on the river - I'm down to nearly 4K. A few hands later in the same orbit I get KK again and raise it 3.5BB. Mr. ATC calls. Flop comes 86x two diamonds. I put him on a flush and/or straight draw, and bet the pot - he calls. The turn is blank and I'm not feeling comfortable about the draw, so I shove AI. He calls and shows 86 for two pair. I'm crippled at 250. The very next hand I pick up JJ only to run into AA and I'm out in just 80 minutes.

I quickly race over to Showboat to enter the 2pm. A small field of only 54. I'm super tilting, so very first hand I get a LP limper and I raise with ATd in CO. There are two callers to see a flop of A8A. LP caller bets, I RR, and LP caller goes AI. I call and she shows A8 for a boat. Turn is no help but river is a ten. I double up on the very first hand. I play fairly straight-forward and stay above average stacked. Down to two tables I race my JJ against AK and double up. I later triple up when JJ holds up against AK and 88. I reach the final table in reasonable shape. Things go up and down for me until we're on the bubble. I pick up QQ in the small blind and want the big blind to commit chips. Rather than shove I make a small raise. BB says she reads me for weakness and shoves Q6d, my QQ holds up. We pay off the bubble and we then slug it out for a good
while. At four, we are all tired and starving so we chop, albeit not as equitably as it should have been. Two of the regulars give me a hard time about taking care of shorty, who walks away with more than he should have. I have a slight chip lead so I technically take first, a milestone for me and a good confidence builder. I would have liked to play it out but my true love, eating, was calling.

I bolt over to the Taj for my reservation at the Indian restuarant. Homey I.B. is late so I'm there alone - literally, I'm the only one in the place. I would soon find out why. My tomato soup was actually Campbells (I know that taste) with some red pepper in it. The vegetable samosas were not fresh, and the lamb saag was bland. Two enthusiastic thumbs down for Royal Albert's Indian Palace.

I hook up with I.B. and we play ring games at the Trop until I drag him away at 1am after my KK loses to 88 to bust me. I'm unable to convince I.B. to get some sleep, so in the spirit of Stu Unger, he pulls an all-nighter at Caesars. His average nightly sleep over the past week is about the value of Pi to 7 decimal places - there must be a team of scientists somewhere dying to study this grinder. I commit to playing the 11:15 Trop tournament (86 entrants) and I convince I.B. to join me, who agrees in his vegetated state. However at this point I don't know if his yes means yes or if he even understands the question. I see him register, but then he's gone, and then I see him sitted at the next table. I bare down and commit myself to not playing a single hand until the antes kick in at round 4 (ala Stu Unger), but I'm reading the table so well that I make good strides even with nothing. I pick my spots well and my premium hands hold up when I need them, and I make a good lay down or two. Down to 22 I have a reasonable 65K but at 18 I'm at 45K. At 14 I'm at 28K with blinds at 3000/6000/1000 when I pick up QQ. I shove all in and I get no callers, putting me back up to ~46K. I show the QQ. Next orbit there is a button raise of about 20K from an Opp who has picked on my blinds for the last couple orbits. I know him from our original table and he has shown down both quality and wide ranges. I look down at A9s and decide I want to play for the win and come over the top. He deliberates then calls with 22, which holds up and I'm out. The players pay the bubble which soon pops and the final table of 10 is set with I.B. in the chip lead. He and the others eventually chop at 5. The ride home I think about the A9 vs 22 and making the final table. What does it mean to "play for the win" if you know there will be a chop at 3 or 5? With nearly 4-5 equal stacks to mine, I wonder if a shove there is right, especially considering the 11th spot (just 3 away) was paid bubble money. I guess I have to live with my decision. 14/86 isn't bad, but finishing ITM twice would have been a nice way to wrap up the trip.

The Polish Open starts March 10, and I am not happy that I have to miss that event. I have such fond memories of Poland and was only able to see Warsaw briefly in 1988. The situation there at that time was much different than it is today. I'll never forget one man's solution to reversing his country's dire situation, as he shared with me these two easy steps:
1. Declare war on the United States
2. Surrender the next day
He told me that the Polish people wanted all of our generals to come into Poland - General Motors, General Mills, General Foods. Well, it took a long time but at last they're there. But I'll have to wait for another time to enjoy their humor and borsch - until then, I have a home game tonight.

Main Line Poker Club Feb 18 2008

Results from tonight's home game:

Game #3: 1) I.B. & R.W. 3) M.B.
Game #2: 1) B.D. 2)B.L. 3) M.B.
Game #1: 1) B.L. & R.W. 3) B.D.

I've forgotten nearly everything I wanted to write about. Aside from chopping first two times, which is a great outcome for this game, I can say that for me poker is fun right now, and I can't get enough. Maybe winning has helped, but I think I'm making reasonably good decisions, and when my chips go in, I'm usually the favorite. Not all outcomes are in my favor, but I'm playing each hand the best I know how and I'm growing in my understanding and reading ability. I experienced a major growth spurt during tonight's session by
1. calling an all in without looking at my cards because I knew I was priced in with ATC
2. calling an all in with a weakish holding (A8o) after having estimated OP's pushing range (actual hand here A7o). this nearly backfired as one player behind me (nemesis) woke up with a hand (99) and I was behind until the turn but I hit runner runner 8s to knock him out. A particularly bad beat for him since it was precisely the nature of beat that knocked him out of the Borgata tournament from the prior day. I faintly heard his contempt for my play over the jingle jangle of his championship bracelets dangling from his wrist. From my perspective, I had reason to believe I was ahead of OP1 and did not think OP2 (nemesis) would play the hand given the action before him. Hey, I'm entitled just like anyone else. The good news is I used this outcome to finish ITM.

I also recall limping with AA from a blind while eating a sandwhich with 4 limpers ahead of me. Had I been thinking I would have raised to isolate, but luckily the flop came xKx and J.S. to my left bet out and it folded back to me. I pushed AI and was called by his paired K, but my AA held up. Not the way to play it but it worked out for me.

Another consistent showing for B.D., B.L., & M.B. Finishing ITM more than once is not easy to do in this game, not to mention cashing regularly month-to-month. Recently only J.S. has had this strong of a showing.

Homeys M.B., B.S., and B.D. continue to do nicely online. J.S. seems to have a new-found interest in the 45s, winning one and placing second in another

I'm getting a poker table from craigslist with free delivery! Maybe one day I'll get to host the game. Many thanks to W.E. for finding this gem. Here's the original craigslist post:
Original price was $500. Still in box - never used.
Cup holders and poker chip trays at each seat. pecan solid wood finish, with tan grained leather center.
This is a great table with retractable legs to store away when needed.

2008 Conshohocken Classic

There are good poker players, then there are great ones. And then there's us - good poker players who think they're great. One of us just took one step closer towards truly being great. S.H. won his second Conshy bracelet in 5 tries and in doing so, etched his name in the local poker hall of fame. I can't imagine this feat ever being repeated, as the field in this tournament will only get stronger.





W.E. and M.B. did an amazing job organizing and hosting the tournament. Most noobies were impressed with the quality, but we are accustomed to such. We were slightly over budget for food and drinks, but thankfully QueenPrussia came through with some home-made chili. We were also able to broadcast the tournament live on the internet using a Windows Media Server. I know of at least two people that watched from out of state.



Major hands for me:
1. Near round 4 UTG limps with a shortish stack, I'm in MP1 and flat with AQo to disguise, and there is another LP caller. Flop comes AK4, shorty pushes all in UTG and I call with a smile, only to see shorty show K4o. Not the way I play K4o UTG but that's just me. Would have been a nice addition to my stack.
2. Near round 8 UTG+1 raises, folds to shorty OTB who shoves. I look down at AQo and fear that EP has a pair and will RRAI. I sheepishly fold, only to see EP call with KTo while B has AQ. I chopped pot would have done me well there but I thought I was behind at least one of the OPs.
3. Round 9 I pick up AKo in MP and raise to 3BB, one called behind, then BB shoves. I come over the top and LP calls again. BB shows A9s and LP shows Q9s. LP calls two AI in front with Q9o. His 9 is counterfeited but he flops a Q to bust us both. I was visibly upset and it's not until later that I realize our tournament needs players like this and I have no business reacting like I did. As I wrote in a prior blog entry, if you can't handle a beat or grow as a result of the downs, then poker is not the game for you. But when you realize it's not likely that you will play an infinite number of hands in your short lifetime, you sort of hope that these outcomes will go your way.

My predicted winner actually finished 3rd, so congrats to B.S. on a "strong" finish. I also predicted at least four of our home team would make the final table, and four were there if you consider B.W. (one of the original members who has not played with us in a long time). In looking over the historical results that we have, our home game has done decently in this tournament. Here are some average finishes among players with at least 3 entries:
1. S.H. average finish 8.33
2. R.W. average finish 11.67
3. T.R. average finish 12.33
It's also worth noting that in 2005 and 2008 we had 4 of us at the final table.

2008 Conshohocken Classic Realtime Texting Updates

AK lost to Q9 to bust.

2008 Conshohocken Classic Preview

The Conshohocken Classic Poker Tournament is a premier 4 table venue showcasing some of the finest players in the greater Philadelphia area. It has been RESCHEDULED for February 16.

MAIN LINE POKER CLUB TO HAVE PLAYERS' LOUNGE

Come by and chat with any of the Main Line Poker Club regulars prior to the tournament and during breaks. We are sponsoring a lounge exclusively for our players. Look for us between tables 1 and 2, near the television and couches (If you reach the basketball toss, you've gone too far). We are happy to discuss a wide variety of topics, including poker, sports, stocks, or travel. Photo opportunities are available as time permits.

R.W. talks about his preparation for this event in December 2007.



The bracelet for the 2008 Conshohocken Winter Classic has arrived. W.E. stopped by to make sure it fits me. There are 35 links in it, one for each opponent that will fall by the wayside. It's engraved, yet too bright and shiny to be read with unprotected eyes. Sterling silver with a gold middle strand, signifying a continuous stream of races which must be won to wear it. The satchel signifies royalty and the exalted status that the winner will attain. Seems fit for a king - a King of Prussia perhaps.



The main event is tommorow. The anticipation is just too much to bear. We've increased the field to 40. I am in the final phase of selecting my tournament drinks. I will choose some subset of the following, and each has it's advantages:
1. Earl Grey tea. Clearly my longtime favorite since my brief stint in London. I will likely start off with this warm, morning drink.
2. Rockstar energy drink. This one is a question mark, since I have been getting good sleep thanks to Nyquil. If things blow up tonight, I'll use two of these to get me through the day (in addition to the Earl Grey, which is a given).
3. Orange Mango Nantucket Nectars. My new drink of choice. I'm not crazy about orange juice, but the mango addition is just perfect. A smooth blast of vitamin C, great for morning but equally as enjoyable anytime if served cold. I will certainly have one of these on hand. The only downside is that the factoid under the cap is confined to Nantucket, so a lot of redundancy and not a lot of new information being added to my useless facts database. I can understand why Snapple has a larger market cap.



Problem: non-standard tournament colors.
Solution: custom-printed labels



[ ] S.M. DOES NOT DELIVER
[x] S.M. DELIVERS

Not only does the guy drive up from D.C. to play, but he also supplies the chips. This year he goes the extra mile to help avoid problems with non-standard tournament colors by printing labels and affixing them to the chips.

The field is impressive. Former winners S.H. and E.M. would attain instant Hall of Fame status with repeat victories. S.M. & I.B. are tearing up A/C, in fact, I.B. has abandoned tournaments in favor of ring games because his tournament victories are too numerous. Main Line Poker Club regulars M.B., B.S., B.D.,and J.S. continue their on-line success.

Me? I'm hoping to go the distance. I couldn't sleep the night before the main event, so I took a walk down to the venue and walked around, just like Rocky did when he noticed the promotional poster had his colors reversed. Sure enough, my promotional shot had the bracelet on my right wrist, when I clearly will wear it on my left. "Don't worry about it King," I could hear Mr. Jurgenson say, "I'm sure you'll give us a good show." A good show? He's right, who am I kidding. I can't go toe-to-toe with these giants. But if I could just go the distance and make the TV table, then I'll know I'm not just another bumb.

Actually my son woke me up at 3:30 and slipped into bed, then proceeded to wet. It never fails that before a big event, my sleep is interrupted. It looks like I'll be bringing two energy drinks rather than one.

Main Line Poker Club February 12 2008

Once again I bring my meger public school education into the lair of the private school giants to do battle at the felt. We started 6-handed because our game is still not a priority for some of the members. I.B. and M.B. were notably absent, but M.B. played online so his excuse is suspect and under investigation.

Upon entry I was pleasantly surprised to find a new octogon table with leather surface providing the dealer with a nice "zing" to the far reaches of middle position. We were happy to have one new player fill in, having declined an offer to play in a $25,000 game, and we hope to see more of him in the future. We played our usual 3 SnGs, and the table talk was very much centered around the upcoming Conshohocken Classic. We are confident we will have a good ITM showing from our group there on Saturday.

Here are some observations and summaries.

Game #1: I achieved an early lead based on good, solid starting hands and flops that hit. I dried up in the middle while J.S. got a great rush of cards to bust me on the 2-person bubble (a feat highly enjoyed), precisely as B.D. arrived with his KingPrussia jinx. Newly married S.L. takes second place.

Game #2: Again I get great cards and hit nice flops for an early lead, and again the middle game dries up. It is here that I mention some of my online woes and beats, but decline the advice to revert to 1$ heads up matches. When I'm not getting my chips in good anymore, I'll just walk away. Of course B.D. playes the short stack superbly and overtakes the lead, and ends up chopping with W.E. for 1st while S.L takes another respectable 3rd.

Game #3: Again I mount an early lead with great cards and flops. I win a key race JJ vs S.L. A7 and I'm chip leader near the bubble. B.D. makes a gutsy call AI with 55 at UTG+2 against S.H. at UTG and the 55 holds up. W.E. busts on the bubble with a close hand (can't remember), leaving B.D., noobie B.L. and R.W. down to three-handed. Here B.D. turns up the heat and executes his end-game fearlessly, knowing I am a whimp in the blinds. I suspect collusion with his buddy B.L. to bust me but he shows mercy and makes a key fold. This act of kindness deserves a link to his sports blog, which now features a podcast. Kudos for forging ahead with new technology. I'm a regular reader even though he has yet to interview me about my hole-in-one that landed in the cup or being the only person in the history of Wall High School to hit a baseball onto the roof. Anyway I have B.L outchipped when he shoves 55 to my 44 and it holds up. A few hands later I pick up AA but get no action. B.D. continues to pilfer my kids' lunch money until he shoves TJo into my 99 and flops a J. My useless public school class rank of 4 and my Most Likely To Succeed award cannot help me here against this Blue Devil and I bust in 3rd.

Results
Game #1: 1) J.S. 2) S.L.
Game #2: 1) B.D. & W.E. 3) S.L.
Game #3: 1) B.D. 2) B.L. 3) R.W.

Poker Bowl I

Looks like PokerStars has given our Poker Bowl private tournament more attention than we thought. I logged in last night and noticed the lower left portion of the main screen.