Pride goeth before destruction

I was out of town this weekend and drove past a firehouse that advertised a texas holdem tournament the third Saturday of every month. I checked my cell phone calendar as I drove by - sweet! I inquired within of the details - a five table tourney with a single add-on upon registration. A whopping 28% rake for the firehouse - high, but for a good cause, I reasoned! I had some free time, so I decided to enter.

I saw the usual hodge-podge of young hot-shots, donning the typical baggy pants, baseball caps, bling-bling, with girlfriend in tow. I was amazed at the turnout - young and elderly alike. I started to profile each one. "No way he's read Harrington" I mused. "For sure she's never even heard of Annette Obrestad," I jested. I smirked as I imagine myself as Fast Eddie Felson on a hustling road trip. "These people won't know what hit them."

I was delighted to see Tournament Director software in use, but I couldn't keep well-enough alone. I immediately started to give some advice to the organizer on how to run a better tournament. "You know, if you had two decks at a table, the other deck could be ready without taking time to shuffle between hands," I advised. "Oh it moves fast enough - 95% of the people here tonight play here every month," he replies.

I'm assigned a seat at table 1 in the cutoff and arrange my 5K stack. The very first hand I pick up AQo. MP limps, girl to my right limps, I raise 4bb, both call. Flop comes xxQ. Check, check, I c-bet, MP folds, girl calls. Turn blanks, girl bets 400. Hmmm. I slow down and call. River blank, girl bets 400, I call. She turns over KK. She slow-played KK on the very first hand. WHAT!!!!!! I'm down 1200 already.

I fold hands 2 & 3. Hand #3 is won by a guy across from me with AK who did not add-on. He added to his 2.5K nicely against EP A7o. Ah the weak Ace - exactly how I figured the tournament would be. I just know tight-aggressive will work here. I'm gonna win!!!!

Hand 4 I pick up KK UTG. Sweet - my 1200 is coming back home. I raise 2xBB. Guy across makes it 300 to go and it folds to me. I make it 1000. He goes all in. I think of Phil Gordon - "the 4th raise is Aces". Yeah but not in this rinky-dink firehouse. Not here. Not now. I remember my oath to always go broke with KK. I unashamedly call. His AA holds up and I'm out. I don't survive even a single orbit. I never post a blind. I never get to shuffle the cards. The great King of Prussia is really just the Joker of North East Maryland. It's a good thing they weren't using two decks - I would have busted out in half the time!

What a wretched, arrogant fool. The next time I'm taking the opposite approach - I'm curious to see where it gets me. Maybe there's something to be said for humility after all.